comments on codename invasion

ok i just added a new fan fiction, called codename invasion.

plz give me your comments on the first chapter.


It's a bit short, even for an introductory chapter...

Interesting plot you're setting up here, but you might try developing the story a little beyond simple dialogues. Just saying "He said, she said, he said" doesn't move a story forward, and it doesn't show a lot of effort. What you want is a story, not a script.


Interesting concept. As Tora said, it could be a bit longer next time but it wasn't too bad. Hope you update it soon! :D

thanks guys, yeah hopefully the next one will be up in the next week.

EDIT: next chapter should be up this weekend

This post was edited by fastlegs (2006-12-09 11:05, 14 years ago)

Here's my review:

You show some excellent improving in the chappy 2. Chapters are short, but even more so fun to read. I'm honored you use my characters in your story :)

I sense there will be one, heck of a story to read. Keep it coming. :D

I see you had to bribe some of the admins by adding Koga in there. :wink Nice chapter, it's sort of interesting so far.

ok Codename Invasion is Finished, the last Chapter is up.

sorry about the long wait.:con

once again I just want to take this time to thank everyone who read the Fan Fiction and left comments for me regurding the story.

Also I have to Say one BIG THANK YOU to Kogamitsu, for letting me use some of her blood ring chracters, which I felt very hounred to use, without them the Fan Fiction would not have been possible

so enjoy the last chapter and the Final Battle.

Once Again Thank You For Reading!:)