As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom
Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
-- Marcel Achard
First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.
-- Leo Rosenberg
When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old.
-- Bill Clinton
Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material.
-- Dave Letterman
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy
Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
-- Joe Namath
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.
-- Jack Nicholson
A girl phoned me the other day and said: "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over! Nobody was home.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
There's tons more where it came from. "Just google it" as the wise nerds says!