Funny Quotes

Just found a HP with funny quotes. Here's some i found to my liking;

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
-- Marcel Achard

First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.
-- Leo Rosenberg

When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old.
-- Bill Clinton

Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material.
-- Dave Letterman

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
-- Tom Clancy

Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
-- Joe Namath

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a bitch.
-- Jack Nicholson

A girl phoned me the other day and said: "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over! Nobody was home.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

etc. etc.
There's tons more where it came from. "Just google it" as the wise nerds says! :D