Chapter 22: Good Bye, Fury
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
Coffins are rather small, when you think that a whole human life will be stored into one. The size is a devastating understatement of the loss it proves real. This is what Bryan realized, when his glazed eyes kept staring at the black, wooden coffin that had only a few boquets and a badge on it. Her badge. Brianna's badge.
Bryan didn't hear the speeches the priest held. He didn't see the police officers that worked with Brianna, all the way until the previous week. Instead, he heard the rain that beat the colorful windows of the church, and saw only the coffin. He felt nothing inside ? absolutely nothing. His mind couldn't comprehend yet that Sis was truly gone. The dark guardian angel had fallen.
The autopsy report had arrived a few days after the incident. Cause of death was an apparent suffocating; Brianna had drowned in her own blood. Bryan saw certain irony in it, since he had seen how ruthlessly she had spilt the blood of her enemies. There had also been a large amount of alcohol in her blood, which he found strange since she never acted like she had been drunk. Either she had hid it extremely well, or the alcohol had never had any effect on her. Back when he was still a kid, Bryan had imagined not even knives or bullets had any effect on her. He was proven wrong, with a high price. He guessed that the coffin was closed to hide the bruises and injuries she suffered during the fight.
After the ceremony, all the officers came to pay their respects when the coffin was laid down in the grave, but only a few came to offer consolation to Bryan. One of them being Lei, who offered Bryan a ride home. Bryan accepted silently, turning to leave with Lei. They arrived soon to the center of the graveyard, where Lei told Bryan to wait while he would get the car. Bryan did not mind waiting, all he wanted was to be left alone. His whole world had collapsed in an overnight and he still wasn't able to stand up on his two feet again. Sis was gone. A punch in the face would have felt more human than realizing that.
By the time Bryan arrived home, his blood had gradually turned into ice. He curled up in Sis's bed, rubbing himself in the familiar scent that always provided him with safety. He found himself unable to move. He did try, but he couldn't. He couldn't eat, nor did he fall asleep. There was nothing he was able to do. All he did was lie there, among his sweat, blood, tears and broken heart. Never could he have guessed he could run out of tears.
The movies make is so romantic. Poetic. People dying for great causes, leaving a peaceful world behind them to respect their memory. Their loved ones get supported by more loved ones, they understand why the death came to their friends and relatives, they say they're alright with it.
What a bunch of bullshit.
Sis is gone. She didn't die the way she should've. There was no world peace spawned by her death, no great speeches... no one but me to cry their hearts out. She died in vain. Her death is shrouded in darkness, filled with questions and mystery, no one knows why her throat was slit open and by who. Not even I. All I have is a voice, and a silhouette of a shadow.
God, how I miss her.
I wrap myself into her sheets, trying to absorb every bit of her that is still left in this cold, empty apartment. I force myself to remember everything she has ever said to me, every thing she has ever done for me, every time she spilt blood to keep me safe. My memories go all the way down to Queens... they're just fragments, mere feelings and thoughts, but they're still there.
Sis was ten when I was born. I can't remember my mother; she must've died shortly after I was born. Not that I had ever asked about her, Sis has always been my mother. She gave me my name. Her name. She created ?us?. She made the Fury family. I was born as Bryan Grendel. That boy is now dead. He died in the flames that destroyed my first home. The moment Sis cut me loose from the ropes and rushed me out of the hell's flames, I became Bryan Fury.
Fury, furY, fURy, FurY...
Dammit, Sis, why did you leave me?
Bryan lit up a cigarette, inhaling the bitter smoke and exhaling them towards the sun. He was standing outside the Cage with Delta, Lun, Edam and DJ Jozz. They had gathered there like always, but nothing was as it used to be. No one had said anything. No one knew what to say. The news of Brianna's death had carried out like a wild fire.
Finally, Lun had it in him to break the silence. "You cool, man?"
"The fuck'd you think?" DJ Jozz slammed. "He just lost his sister. You'd be okay?"
"I just thought..."
"Leave thinking to those with the equipment."
"Shut up, both of you," Delta interrupted, and turned to Bryan again. "Viper?"
Bryan turned to look.
"What you gonna do now?"
Putting out the exhausted cigarette, Bryan merely shook his head. He knew, but he wasn't sure how to tell his posse..
"Look, we all know what she meant to you," Delta continued. "You told us the kind of stories you could expect to see in action movies. She left Terminator and RoboCop in her shadow. But I don't think she would've wanted you to stop living because of her."
"He's right, man," Edam joined in, snorting slightly. "She was a cop. She knew the risks."
Bryan sighed. "Sis, she... she gave me a boxful of money the night before she died. She said I could use some of it to get the demo done. After that, she asked me to think before spending it."
"How much did she give you, man?"
Delta nearly choked on his pot. "Almost two grand? What the heck you gonna do with it?"
Bryan turned away. "Sis wanted me to go to college, study and get a real job," said he. "She respected my love for music, but told me to think rationally and keep in mind I might not make a living with it."
He turned to face the posse again. "She's right. She was always right. I will go to college. I will study. I... I will attend police academy."
"What're you sayin', dawg?" Delta tossed his pot on the ground. "You're gonna be a cop?"
"Yeah. I'll walk in her footsteps. I'mma be a cop. And I will find out who did this to her. And once I do..."
"Oh no, man, but what about your demo?" Edam squealed. "What about your rhymes, man?"
"I'm sorry, guys. I've made up my mind. I need to know who did this."
As if heavy air had surrounded the old posse. A posse that had been born, had lived, and now faced its end. One of them was leaving. Finally, Delta got himself together. "Look, dawg," he said. "You do what you've gotta do. You've always followed your heart. Now, when you're a cop and bustin' those bad-rap asses, don't forget your old pals here at the 8 Mile. You dig?"
Bryan and Delta shared a hug with their posse's name on it. "I won't. I'll never forget you guys."
I'll never forget you.