Funny Quotes

This seemed like a funny idea: post in this threat any funny, wise or weird quotes you have recently ran accross.

Here are two I found very amusing:

Myths, not least Jurassic Park itself, have suggested that dinosaurs are not "really" extinct at all. ... Significantly, no one has made a film bringing back dodos, moas, pygmy elephants, or mosasaurs -- only dinosaurs and Hitler are popular for the reawakening myth. Both at the same time would be a good trick.

and:

You can calculate how much energy a kangaroo uses when it makes a jump, count how many jumps it makes in a day, and deduce a lower limit on its daily energy requirements. ... Do the sums, and you find that the kangaroo's daily energy requirement is about ten times as big as anything it can get from its food. Conclusion: kangaroos can't jump. Since they can't jump, they can't find food, so they're all dead.

Strangely, Australia is positively teeming with kangaroos, who fortunately cannot do physics.

I just bought a comic book "MotU: Icons of Evil", and I ran a few very spectacular quotes, which, unfortunately, seem to amuse only me.

Shaman:
"One does not speak so lightly of betrayal if he is not intimately familiar with it."
Merman:
"Ignorant beasts... they fight over unwanted scarps."
Skeletor:
"What's this? You now beg for mercy? Are you so afraid of death, Kronis? You've proven that you can be an asset to me. I never would have dreamed that you could have amassed such a large army. You have impressed me, and for that you will be spared."
Trap Jaw:
"Keep you friends near you and your enemies closer."
Keldor:
"The one most responsible for his newfound sight is the very man he betrayed!"

This post was edited by Kogamitsu (2005-04-27 20:21, 12 years ago)

Kirimitsu : You can calculate how much energy a kangaroo uses when it makes a jump, count how many jumps it makes in a day, and deduce a lower limit on its daily energy requirements. ... Do the sums, and you find that the kangaroo's daily energy requirement is about ten times as big as anything it can get from its food. Conclusion: kangaroos can't jump. Since they can't jump, they can't find food, so they're all dead.

Strangely, Australia is positively teeming with kangaroos, who fortunately cannot do physics.

Even though I know better than this, its still pretty funny! LOL :D

And Kiri, where is that quote in your avatar from? "All your base are belong to us". I see it everywhere these days!

Thanks,
BigChief

(In AD 2101 war was beginning)
What happen?
Someone set up us the bomb.
We get signal. Main screen turn on.
It's you.
How are you gentlemen. All your base are belong to us.
You are on the way to destruction.
What you say?
You have no chance to survive make your time.
Ha-ha-ha


- from the badly translated intro of the game Zero Wing.

Kogamitsu :
Trap Jaw:
"Keep you friends near you and your enemies closer."

Hey! This exact quote was in Godfather (Michael Corleone said it)!

Dinaga, now I know where Trap Jaw learnt this idiom... :D

Ah, it's a parody, lol :)

Here's my favourite quote:

Harry Callahan:

I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

This post was edited by Dinaga (2005-04-21 18:31, 12 years ago)

Dinaga : Ah, it's a parody, lol :)

Here's my favourite quote:

Harry Callahan:

I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?
This is from...... Pulp Fiction?

No!!! Dirty Harry! :D I thought everyone knew this. :)

LOL! Sorry, I ain't really into movies, hehe.

Quote " Suicide, Mans way of telling God you can't fire me. I quit!!"

Quote"i had a cat once....taste like chicken".:D

Ivader ZIM: Zip: Gir where's the base.
GIR: uuuu...that way. no over there.
Zip: u dont know where we are, i just upgraded ur guides navigational chip.
GIR: i left it at home.
Zip: left what at home?
GIR: the navi chippy thingy.
Zip: WHY?
GIR: to make room for the cupcake.

This post was edited by SiCdRaGoN87 (2005-04-27 20:09, 12 years ago)

"I did not escape the hospital gave me a day pass":D

"... I didn't dare to ask my father to buy an amplifier, so I ended up blowing up a radio." - Mark Knopfler

"Klara vappen, hela natten, bara vatten!" - My judo-sensei 27th April 2005
(Roughly; "Clear Mayday, all night, only water!") And that is NOT Finnish.

"There's a difference between phrases "can do" and "be able to do". You can write, but if I broke your fingers, you can still write; you're just not able to." - Kogamitsu, when explaining that difference to her mother.

This post was edited by Kogamitsu (2005-04-28 06:36, 12 years ago)