Bryan - back when he was a young man - attented the US army with a bunch of other people at the same age, and they all shot "so well" in the first shooting practices that the captain gave 'em ALL a week off. And since they all got off together, they all came back late. Before reporting in to the captain, they decided to make up a mutual explanation. One dawg from Chicago went to the captain and began explaining that in the last evening he was saying goodbye to his girlfriend and fell asleep next to her, in her bed. When he woke up, he realized he would never make it to the train station in time, so he borrowed a horse from the girl's father's farm field, and rushed towards the station. But since it was a farm horse, it couldn't take the stress of running and it died about a mile before the train station, and thus the guy was late. Now, everyone gave the captain the same explanation, and when Fury came in the last, the captain was already pissed off.
"So - Fury was sayin' goodbye to his gal the last evening, too, huh?"
"And you fell asleep next to her too, huh?"
"And then you borrowed a horse from the field, I take it?"
"No, Captain. I borrowed a car. I broke the speeds limits to get to the station in time, but there was no way I could've gotten there in time, since about a mile before the station there was one h*lluva big pile of dead horses, sir..."
A GOOD REASON
Yoshimitsu was fleeing from a succesful robbery - he had stolen a briefcase full of money from a few drug dealers, but the guys had begun to chase him. Luckily, he was riding his motorcycle and he drove along the highway in an incredible speed, soon loosing his chasers. Unfortunately, a local cop spotted him too. At first, Yoshimitsu though that he could easily loose him, too, but it was a police nevertheless so after a while he decided to stop. The police was pissed off...
"Look, I've had a very bad day! I've written tickets so much my wrist is aching and I'm running out of ink! I tell ya, if you have a good reason why you were driving like death on wheels I'm letting you get away with it."
"Well..." Yoshimitsu said, "I broke off with my girlfriend yesterday, because she had a relationship with a cop, and I was afraid you were bringing her back."
BRYAN AND THREE IDIOTS
Bryan was driving along a road that went through a forest, when suddenly a guy dressed in yellow hopped in front of his car. He hardly managed stopped the vehicle in time.
"Hi, I'm an idiot," the guy said. "And I'm hungry. I suppose you don't have any food to give me, do you?"
Feeling too tired to fight, Bryan threw him a pizza and went on his way. Suddenly, a guy dressed in red hopped in front of his car.
"Hi, I'm an idiot," the guy said. "And I'm thirsty. I suppose you don't have any drink to give me, do you?"
Still not feeling up to fight, Bryan gave the guy one of his beer bottles and continued driving. Then, a guy dressed in blue hopped in front of his car. Bryan was enraged; he rolled down his window and shouted:
"What the f*cking idiot are you and what do you want!?"
"Lei Wulong of the Hong Kong police...."
What does Anna Williams say in the morning after a steamy night?
LONG LIVE THE...
Bryan Fury, Yoshimitsu, Christie Monteiro, Steve Fox and Dragunov were riding the same plane. There was something wrong with the plane engines, and soon the captain of the plane announced that once of the passengers had to jump off, otherwise the plane would crash. Dragunov stood up and jumped the plane, shouting "Long live mother Russia!"
Some time passed, and the captain announced that yet one more passenger had to jump off. This time Steve Fox stood up and jumped, shouting "God save the Queen!"
The plane kept flying, but then the captain announced that only one more passenger had to jump. After that, they would be home free. Bryan and Yoshimitsu stood up, shouted "Long live the non-Button-Smashers!" and kicked Christie off the plane...
YET ANOTHER PLANE JOKE
Bryan, Yoshimitsu, Heihachi, Julia, Marshall and Xiaoyu were riding the same plane. The engines began to malfunction, and they were told the ditch the plane. Unfortunately, there were only five parachutes. Firstly, Julia stood up and spoke.
"I am Julia Chang, field researcher of the G-Corporation. I am on the break of success in finding a way to restore the forest of my homeland, Arizona. I would hate to die now, without seeing my home at least once more."
People accepted her speech, so she grabbed a parachute and jumped off. Then Marshall stood up.
"I am Marhall Law, a husband and a father. I haven't seen my son for ages, nor my wife. Now that I finally have gathered enough money to get back home, I don't want to die."
People agreed, so Marhsall grabbed a parachute too and jumped off. Then, Xiaoyu stood up and spoke:
"I am Ling Xiaoyu, a student, and on my way of building the greatest amusement park ever for the joy and happiness of every child in the world. Please, please - please don't let me die here, now!"
Xiaoyu, too, got to grab a parachute and jump off. Then, Heihachi stood up.
"I am Heihachi Mishima, the most intelligent president and CEO of the Mishima Zaibatsu, and I run about one third of the world. If I die, my syndicate will destroy both of you."
With that, he grabbed and jumped off. Only Yoshimitsu and Bryan were left into the plane. Finally, Yoshimitsu stood up. "We have no time to begin to fight for the last parachute," he said. "Go ahead - you jump."
Bryan stood up and grabbed a parachute. "You don't have to die either, dawg," he suddenly said to Yoshimitsu. "The most intelligent president and CEO of Mishima Zaibtasu just jumped off with my backpack."