Lack of creativity...
The truth is though, that while I had that feeling around me growning up, it's also been reinforcing those feelings of being different upon myself, my own fears and insercurties. That's been affecting my sense of self. the disturbences around me had been influcing my own feelings to the point where it became the truth.
Yet despite that, i've always had a feeling that I need to be true to myself and never portray myself as something am I not. I've have been saying to myself that it would be horrorible, if i'm not being a authentic to my surroundings, and if they would happen to like that person, then they would like a fiction, a mask that i've been putting on for the occation sorta speak.
All people are different, all have unique pasts and memories along with those.
That's why that I feel it's my duty, as a person to aleast try to understand and accept others with a smallest amount of judgement, as I can muster. If we can do that then I feel that life would be easier for everyone, because let's face it, we are all on the same team really, we just have a stupid tendencies to pick sides and spilt ourselfs up, and forget all that.
So even though I'm feeling like an outsider, being disapointed and pissed at people from time to time. I'm at my core a team player despite everything up till then. that's also something that's never gonna change